We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize