During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
