So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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