This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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