The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
