So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
