I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
There's always time for handjobs
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
