I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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