Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize