I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
