doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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