Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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