I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
