Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
