Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
