It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
