fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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