After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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