i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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