Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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