wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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