Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
