Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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