I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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