ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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