We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Dick very happy bro
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize