am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
