Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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