member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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