We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
