WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
