gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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