guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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