bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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