So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
