That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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