he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
