Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize