Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
