This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
