So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I touched a dick in church today
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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