Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
