I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
