i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
