so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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