Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
