you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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