apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Did I show you my penis last night?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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