Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
