Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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