Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
