I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
