i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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