who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
