is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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