I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
