someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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