This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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