After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize