Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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