just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize