Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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