You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
