i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
