my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
