threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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