I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Sext me about skeletons
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
